Rob Smith: ‘Slutwalk’ enslaves women

Rob Smith has been an irregular, if not popular addition to the small stable here at Thinkers’ Podium. He started out writing as a young man studying liberal theology in the Adelaide Hills, rescuing neglected greyhounds and hugging trees. Now apparently, he’s a conservative, sub-creationist pundit. (Surely this is satirical? Rob?)

Sadly, you’ll never get the full explanation of his alleged political transition here at the podium, because alas, this is Rob’s final contribution to the site. I wish him well in his future projects.

In his final article, ‘Slutwalk enslaves women’, Rob explains to us why he thinks the upcoming ‘slutwalk’ marches are a bad thing.

‘Slutwalk’ enslaves women


Rob Smith

It’s me again, Rob Smith.

What an introduction. I know it’s bad form to bite the hand that feeds you, but honestly I thought my host was a little more ecumenical than that, even if he is a New Atheist. I’m sure he has his reasons why this is my last post, and perhaps they are good ones. I hope and pray that he’s not simply censoring me because some may find what I say offensive. It’s just that he’s leaving me in suspense as to why I won’t be posting here anymore.

I’m as surprised as you are.

Anyway, to the issue at hand; ‘slutwalk’.

What is ‘slutwalk’ exactly? It’s supposed to be a consciousness raising exercise directed primarily at men. Women changing the way men think.

Slutwalk is a movement sweeping across the world where women come out in skimpy clothes to protest in marches, apparently to make men realise that they can’t leer and jest and paw at women who dress like that. The concerns are valid. Women do deserve not to be leered at, made the butt of sexist jokes or physically accosted.

There are of course, other concerns and I’m not sure these ladies have them fully in mind.

Now I’m no troglodyte, but these displays of deliberately provocative exposure really do a disservice to feminism. Like the third-wave is a wave goodbye to women’s dignity.

I have no shame in saying that I’m pro-feminist, in that I wish amongst other things, to defend women’s dignity. And that sometimes this means telling women they have a problem.

Everyone at some point needs a friend, an outsider, to come along, tap them on the shoulder and say ‘you’re going about this the wrong way’. Being a man, I’m that outsider.

Putting aside the impropriety of women thinking they have a role in deciding what men think as if there’s some kind of switch in our heads, this thing is doomed to backfire from the very beginning.

The story goes that men have used the term ‘slut’ to control and suppress female sexuality. This much is true. If any guy called my ex a ‘slut’, I’d smack them in the gob and tell them to mind their own business. What she does with her body is between her and who she’s doing it with, not some uninvited third-party.

By using the term ‘slut’ though, a word belonging to misogynists, these women are inviting this third-party along to pass judgement. You can’t just divest a word of all its connotations, much less acquire something from a culture without its owners noticing and tracking it down like a stray dog!

So what we’ll have is these controlling, leering men, gazes directed towards an array of proposed ‘slutwalk’ marches throughout Australia. What will they see? Cleavage and ostentatious flashing!

‘I’m a slut! Look!’ the women yell!

‘Look but don’t touch!’

By all means yes, guys don’t touch. But ladies, look who you’re talking to!

Which begs the question, why are they drawing the attention of leering misogynist men to exposed cleavage? [This isn’t actually what ‘begs the question’ means – Ed.]

If I were more paranoid, I’d say it was a deliberately self-defeating plot by women seeking a winding back of the feminist frontier. A plot for women to crawl back to the not-so-halcyon days of the 1970s, when ‘free love’ became ‘show us yer tits!’. Conservatives of course, saw this coming well before the 1970s, and we see it coming again now.

Unintentionally of course. I’m not paranoid!

Somewhere between the 1950s and the 1960s, feminism approached its zenith, then abruptly fell back to Earth. I don’t want women to live at any less than this potential, but they aren’t going to get it through re-enactment of social decline. Renewal is needed.

Which is where the guys step in. No, not the leering, lecherous dudes on the sidelines who lets face it, are only pretending to be on-message in the vain hope they’ll score a root. (Good luck with that).

No. Conservative men. Short cropped of hair. Clean shaved. Firm of mind and of body. Able to avert their male gaze better than any other because they don’t have one! Gentlemen! Father figures!

We men need to attend these marches, maintaining eye contact above shoulder height at all times, showing solidarity of spirit but not approval. We need to wait with blankets for those women who finally realize mid-march, what it is they are doing to themselves, and be ready to assist in ending their role as slaves to the male gaze!

To huddle around, protect them and maybe even escort them home to the kitchen where they can make themselves a relaxing cup of tea!

But only with their consent of course. We wouldn’t want to be patriarchal about it!

We need to reach out to the other men as well. The nerd-hipster-atheist-sceptic-dudes on the sidelines taking a perv.

Don’t do that guys. Don’t be a dick! Yes I’m talking to you 4Chan dude.

Look, I know you lot don’t put much stock in Jesus as Saviour, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have anything in common.

Ask yourself, what would your messiah, Shinji Ikari do? Yeah. He knows how to treat a lady.

Now let’s get those blankets!

~ Rob Smith

I think this article could have been improved considerably by the author explaining how it is exactly, that ‘slutwalk’ enslaves women. It’s Rob’s call of course. – Ed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.