Rob Smith: New Atheists ruin Home Economics curriculum

I’m going to head back to more subterranean parts of the blogosphere for the time being, down with the gnomes who tinker with the cogs and daemons that keep things working on the surface. This blog however, will continue in my absence for at least one post.

Rob Smith has returned!

I haven’t seen Rob for a few months, and he hasn’t submitted a post to Thinkers’ Podium since 2009, apparently due to personal/spiritual reasons (which he tells me he’ll blog about in future).

If I wasn’t so preoccupied I’d be writing something about Michael Ruse’s latest, wisest effulgence yet. (Why does effulgence, being such a nice word, conjure imagery of extruded effluent?)

Rob has agreed to write something on the topic, in a manner he promises, will be different to what I may expect. A curious promise.

Enough of my blather, here he is.

New Atheists ruin Home Economics  curriculum


Rob Smith

Hi folks. It’s me again, Rob Smith.

First of all, because it matters what qualifications I bring to this article, I’ll tell you a little about what’s happened to me over the period since I was last published here.

Cards on the table, I’m now a conservative Christian. No more tree-hugging, nature worship. No more raising funds for neglected greyhounds.

The cathartic evening that started it all involved my turning up for graduation at our place of worship in the Adelaide Hills, only to find it deserted save a couple of other students similarly stood-up. No parchment, no forwarding details.

My liberal theology course was a scam!

Skipping all the other stuff I’d like to tell you about, I’m now an undergraduate divinity student. And a meat-eating, gas-guzzling conservative one at that.

I aim one day to have my own radio talk show, where I’ll discuss bacon and eggs, and maybe have Jeremy Clarkson on as a guest to talk about how Jesus built my hot rod.

In the meantime, I’ll be discussing how the New Atheists have ignored the warnings of Prof. Michael Rooze, and the disastrous consequences that have begun to unfold.

Atheists have been whining, left, left and center (geddit?) that Rooze is warning for the umpteenth time that if the New Atheists keep presenting science as godless, they’ll be handing creationists legal ammunition on a silver platter.

‘Whaa! We don’t want it to be true, so it isn’t!’

Except it is, even by their own terms!

Dawkins doesn’t want religion or atheism proselytized in schools. Dawkins tells us that science is atheistic. Dawkins doesn’t want science proselytized in schools. Q.E.D. Or at least that’s the conclusion he’d reach if only he’d follow his own logic to its conclusion.

Really, it is that simple. But oh no!

‘How is his [Rooze’s] theory about the constitutional implications (in the US) of the New Atheism not wrong, simplistic, and misleading? Likewise for his theory about how the cases have been decided so far… This happens to be something I know a little about, and it’s pretty obvious to me who is being simplistic, etc., here.’

(Russell Blackford, 2011)

Pfft. Someone thinks he’s John Shelby Spong meets Denny Crane! Ockham’s razor (an example of Christian philosophy) so obviously makes a nonsense of this, I won’t need to spell out the technical details (see how it works, Blackford?)

[I hope Rob doesn’t go with the ‘tone argument’ after this – Ed.]

I used to get this kind of sophistry from my liberal theology tutors, telling me the reasons I had to pay my fees so far up front were ‘complicated’, and that I was being too simplistic with my questions. And then they up and left town!

Never. Again.

Rooze has been warning the New Atheists time and time again (ever since the deplorable Dawkins called him a NAZI in The God Delusion) not because he’s got some grudge boiling away, but because despite being an atheist, he borders on being prophetic in such matters. And he’s been vindicated.

Citing Dawkins et al. in its latest newsletter, East Parafield High, right here in little old South Australia, has demolished its Home Economics curriculum. This following a series of complaints from a local pentecostal parent, wanting his children to be extra safe.

The parent complained that pancake recipes covertly proselytized atheism to his children for being godless and not being kosher during Passover, which he was taking on board in line with a kind of Pascal’s-wager-cosmological-bet-rigging. Sort of like buying a house along the borders of a school district to make sure they get in to whichever the best option turns out to be.

‘Which God is in the recipe? Let me tell you; none!’, the unnamed parent told the school.

Teachers immediately pointed out the absurdity of the request, defending the children’s right to learn about bacon, eggs and pancakes. If they’d listened to Rooze, they would have known what to expect.

At a parent and teacher meeting, a printout was read aloud, which contained material by Richard Dawkins found on the Internet; particularly how criticism of religion was comparable to food criticism, deserving an equal status in society.

Being naturally aghast at Dawkins intolerant criticism of people’s cherished beliefs, while also being forced to cede that science is without God (aka atheistic), the school, not wanting to be hypocritical (and wanting to avoid litigation), recognised that both atheistic science, and cooking, where it contradicted and/or excluded theology, had to be expunged from the curriculum.

No more pancakes. (I don’t really care about the loss of evolution or geology – creation science can provide for all our medical and mining needs).

The battle now rages between the school and the state curriculum authority, the latter being said to inquire ‘What The Fuck?’ (Manners please, you filthy secularists!)

If Dawkins et al. had only listened to Rooze and not let the cat out of the bag, they’d have what they (and Rooze) wanted for the students of East Parafield High, and if Dawkins hadn’t extended the debate to the dining table, they would be able to cook good, old-fashioned, Christian food of The West.

Nice work, fools!

Currently, East Parafield High has a joint venture with TAFE, teaching hospitalities and Home Economics to students through its cafe open to the public, where I used enjoy popping in for a coffee and a stack of flapjacks. Hopefully the state government can summon the courage to challenge this in court and call Rooze in as an expert witness, so I don’t have to drive all the way to the Pancake House in the city.

~ Rob Smith

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